PERSPECTIVE

Dear Frum Abby,

I live in Europe and the family isn't frum. There aren't any programs for Jewish kids here to go to and I'm missing out on the best years of my life and feel like a complete loser.

It makes me angry, but it is fun to read on those frum forum websites, how teens complain about every small little thing, like 'my Rabbi is this', 'my yeshiva is so bad', 'I'm frummer than my MO father', 'my friend ate a 0,5% non-kosherhamburger', 'I don't enjoy learning talmud', all those kind of silly smalldetails.

I'd suggest all of them should pack a suitcase and move to my town and try to live as a Jew right there alone. It almost induces a laugh, when reading about their problems.

Sad

Dear Sad,

Well, this is terrible, as you know. Since you're on-line, I'd suggest you find as much Torah as possible, try to learn something at least. The websites are pretty amazing. Google "Torah". Maybe you can even get some pen-pals in Israel if you hunt around. That would be fun, I think.

You actually have a LOT to offer other kids, frum and otherwise. I always tell kids who feel out of it socially to look around for OTHER kids who think they're weird. There are millions of kids out there who feel they don't fit in—actually, they're good kids, just a little insecure, and like you, struggling socially.

Your experience is interesting and unique (it will give you much to write one day). I also suggest that you write a diary or journal, of sorts, maybe even blog.
I can tell you that these years, these supposedly best years of your life are usually NOT the best years of your life. That's a lot of nonsense. They're soul searching years and full of conflict with family about identity and disappointment with friends and school. So in that respect you are very much like other kids, frum or otherwise.

See if there's some kind of counseling program for you, too. It's great to be one on one with an adult who doesn't judge you and only wants to help, even if he can't be "your friend."

Stay in touch,

F.A.