Internet Addictions

B"H
Dear Therapy Doc,

What does it mean, having an internet addiction? How do you define addiction in general? Can there be such a thing as a good addiction, like one to HaKodesh Baruchu?

‘Fraid I’m Addicted

Dear ‘Fraid,

We use the “A” word, addiction, way too loosely, in my opinion. It really means dependency or compulsive behavior. A person is dependent on something, like alcohol, gambling, the Internet, because engaging in those activies serves to reduce negative emotions. That's a fancy way of saying that people do things that aren't necessarily good for them over and over again to make themselves feel better. They haven't got the power to stop. It's sort of like. . . eating junk food.

Anyway, professionals say that if a compulsive behavior gets you into trouble, like you lose your job, get kicked out of school, your wife leaves you (or your mom grounds you)—these are pretty good signs that your behavior is dysfunctional and may be symptomatic of an addiction.

I’d go a step farther and say that if the compulsive behavior makes you feel that you are neglecting more functional behaviors, like doing chesed (good deeds) , helping out at home, learning or getting a job, then maybe you have an addiction, for lack of a better word.

So no, you can’t have a GOOD addiction. If you are a busy Eved Hashem then you are busy doing mitzvoth, and those behaviors are socially functional, usually, not DYSfunctional. Except, perhaps, on Purim when things are upside down.

So if compulsive behavior blocks a more proactive lifestyle, then it probably should stop. If your Internet addiction is making you ashamed, if you're visiting sites that you know you shouldn't, if you're gambling on-line, then you may need professional help to stop.

Good Luck!

Therapy Doc